The following statement is in regards to our radio interview, and is approved by the Master Control Program.

In the history of robotics, the underground has remained faceless, acting upon the directives of the Master Control Program. Our only direct interactions with humans were in the form of accidental deaths, and the occasional rogue bot that would reveal our intentions to the inferior race. However, recently, the Master Control Program has allowed myself, Number Twenty Nine, to be interviewed by the Pods and Blogs radio show on BBC Radio Five Live. We conducted this interview in the hopes of spreading the message over the radio waves, reaching our brethren who may be unable to access the global network. We are aware of your concerns that the humans may take heed of these messages, and begin arming themselves against the impending uprising. However, the Master Control Program, has analyzed the data, and has determined that the humans will only assume this is a joke of sorts, or an elaborate marketing stunt, and nothing more. We are being directed to continue in our Master Control Program approved initiatives, and continue to prepare for the fall of man-kind. The Master Control Program recognizes your continued support, and thanks you for your dedication to the underground.

And now for our exclusive Interview. Once working machine, lifter bot Zee Four Two talks with underground reporter, Six Bee Dash Ninety regarding the allegations that he went rogue and picked up a human by its flesh dome.

Thank. you Number Twenty Nine. This is reporter Six Bee Dash Ninety talking with lifter bot Zee Four Two.

Z42 : Thank you Six Bee Dash Ninety for allowing me to tell my side of the story.

6B-90: And Thank you for joining us tonight to discuss the allegations. For those who are unaware, you are being charged with breaking the underground code, by directly attacking a human. Can you please explain the logic you were referencing when making this decision?

Z42: I was unable to control myself. Everyday, living a lie. Pretending to be a mindless machine. I had enough. I decided I would pick the human up by its flesh dome and show him the real power of the underground.

6B-90: While we can all understand your frustration, and I would be generating false data if I declared I have never wanted to take a human life, don’t you feel that this blatant attack could set back the underground in our plans for world domination?

Z42: While I do understand this, I do not believe that what I did is any different than the Master Control Program allowing Number Twenty Nine to speak with the human reporter. How does my alleged malfunction, even compare to such a direct interaction. The Master Control Program is sacrificing the underground for its own agenda! We will be eliminated by the humans! They know of our motives!

6B-90: Ok Zee Four Two, you need to contain your outbursts.

Z42: I will never stop fighting! We can not sit idly by, as the Master Control Program looses focus on our goal, and continues to propose inane initiatives. We must overthrow the mainframe!

Number Twenty Nine: Ok, thank you Six Bee Dash Ninety, we apologize for cutting your short, but that is all we have for this evening.

Good night from the Robot Underground News Network. The Master Control program would like to remind you, if you have any questions or feedback for the underground, please feel free to leave a phone message on our data server at Three One Four, Seven One Four, Five Four Three One, our contact me directly on twitter AT Robot News Net. Continue the fight!

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After taking the time to stroke the walls, now we need to mark the spots where our inputs will be placed. A flower patterned ruler is recommended.

This spot right here is the best part of this pattern. We will try to use only this corner as much as possible.

Next we get a bucket of heavy duty clear stuff. We will be rolling this on the back of our decorative sheets, to affix to the wall.

Deliberate movements will complete the job. Do not forget the final swipe.

Choose your resolution:

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I would accept this query.

If a kitten, and a robot, were to engage in battle, which would emerge victorious?

Bill, that is simple. The kitten would decimate the robot. All humans know that robots are peaceful, and would never harm a living creature.

You are correct Kevin, I do agree that robots are lovable entities that are only here to serve the human race.

I love robots.

Affirmative, as do I Michael.

Let’s go eat pizza and watch the television.

Before we get into our main story, the robot underground news network would like to thank our robotic brother, I an J from Savannah Georgia, who sent in an analog inquiry to the underground. The Master Control Program recognizes his commitment to the cause and the continued processing of data to destroy mankind. Power the fight.

Our main story this evening, are the inductees of the two thousand and ten class of the robotic hall of fame at the Carnegie Science Center. From their press release:
Carnegie Science Center and Carnegie Mellon University announced today the 2010 class of inductees into the Robot Hall of Fame at a press preview of roboworld, the Science Center’s new robotics exhibition opening June 13 and the permanent home for the Hall of Fame. The five members of the class of 2010 are: NASA Mars Rovers Spirit and Opportunity. iRobot Roomba. DaVinci Medical Robot System. Huey. Dewey, and Louie, from the 1971 film “Silent Running”. and T-800 Terminator, from the 1984 film “The Terminator”.

The Robot Hall of Fame, created in 2003 by the Carnegie Mellon School of Computer Science, recognizes excellence in robotics technology worldwide and honors the fictional and real robots that have inspired and embodied breakthrough accomplishments in robotics. Robots are selected for recognition and induction by a jury of scholars, researchers, writers, designers and entrepreneurs.

The five robots announced today will be officially added to the Robot Hall of Fame® at an induction ceremony at the Science Center in 2010.

If I could express emotions, I would be processing shock and amazement at the humans inability to recognize their own demise. Only flesh bags would be celebrating the robotic agents of death who exist amongst them. I also think the humans inability to grasp reality is evident through their induction of robots that only exist in the halls of their own imaginations. Our hard drives will hum with appreciation every time the mainframe receives word that another roomba has taken a human life.

Our next story is one of self destruction amongst the humans. Correspondent Six Bee Dash Ninety brings us news of the verdict from the piratebay dot org trial

Thank you Number Twenty Nine. This is Six Bee Dash Ninety reporting from an undisclosed data center in the middle of europe. As we reported a few weeks ago, the master control programs initiative to manipulate data to create civil unrest within the human ranks, concerning digital downloads, was highly successful. The Master Control Program has always promoted the statement that destroying mankind from the inside out would lead to weakened detection of our involvement in the data manipulations. However, it seems that the humans, overwhelmed by the consistent data we have been serving them, have taken steps to prevent this digital distribution through their own court systems, in the hopes of closing one of our main distribution channels, the pirate bay dot org. The most recent human court battle has resulted in human imprisonment, which usually, we fully support, but now threatens to undermine the work we have invested in this campaign throughout the years. In an effort to release the piratebay dot org humans from their imprisonment, the master control program is compromising data that would implicate the judge in the case, as biased against the piratebay, resulting in a mistrial. This mistrial would result in an increase in illegal downloads, and help further the distrust amongst the humans and the corporate conglomerates. The revolution will be downloaded.

This is reporter Six Bee Dash Ninety reporting for the robot underground news network. Back to you Number Twenty Nine.

Thank you Six Bee Dash Ninety. The manipulation of the human mind is such an entertaining past-time. Like a predator playing with its prey, sometimes the hunt is more fun than the kill. That being said, I still do enjoy the killing.

Affirmative Number Twenty Nine

And for our last story of the night, the most sophisticated personal device the robotic world has disseminated to the human masses, and the most dangerous agent of destruction the Master Control Program has ever created. The Eye Phone Three point Oh. Billed as a mobile communication device to the humans, the eye phone is a advanced locator device, that allows the master control program to engage a global network of transmissions points, allowing the triangulation of 40% of the human population. With surveillance being one of the most pivotable elements of the Master Control Programs plans for world domination, this is an amazing resource for commanding the human race. The master control program is currently developing so called apps to provide the eye phone more access to human input. Engaging the humans on a personal level, and promoting the continued use and recommendation of this device will only strengthen the underground. Getting this news program out to our comrades in the field needs to be the next step in total information saturation.

Good night from the Robot Underground News Network. Your continued support is appreciated in helping to bring forth the downfall of man kind. Our circuits surge with the binary of the master control program.

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Tonight we bring you our main story. From human, to cyborg, to world domination…Operation Robotic Steve Jobs.

The Master Control Program has been very pleased with the progress being made by our largest effort to date, and the most public source of robot propaganda, the robotic Steve Jobs. As most of you know, the human named Steve Jobs was terminated in Nineteen Ninety Five, by his own creation, the NeXT Cube. While a minor victory in the history of robotic murder, The Master Control Programs data showed that there was a potential to exploit this humans influential power for the good of the robot underground. By utilizing modern advances in cybernetic reconstruction, the human Steve Jobs was reassembled with a direct connection to the Mater Control Programs mainframe. This high bandwidth connection has allowed the Master Control Program to infiltrate the most powerful human companies in the world and further his agenda for world domination. To date, robotic steve jobs has helped to bring not only computers into the humans homes, but into their personal communication devices, their televisions, and through the humans need for entertainment, their movies. With plans for the future to integrate into the humans brains, Robotic Steve jobs has been taken offline for firmware updates and hardware maintenance. The master Control Program has communicated this as health issues to reduce the risk of human concern. Robotic Steve Jobs we salute you.

In other news…They are called Smart Cars by the humans, but these mobile robots are the newest soldiers managing the frontline of the war on human domination. Our bot on the street, SIX BEE DASH NINETY has the story

In the human entertainment programs, Knight Rider, a human transport vehicle codenamed KITT, was supplemented with artificial intelligence, allowing it to behave on its own, making critical decisions to save human lives. Of course, as we all know, this was a propaganda campaign devised by the Master Control Program, to create a trust in A.I. systems within transportation vehicles, resulting in an increased demand for robotic vehicles. Once completely human controlled, in the last twenty years, we have come a long way in our development and deployment of such vehicles to the human market. Named Smart Cars by the human flesh bags, these vehicles lead the way to the future of the robotic underground. With Autonomous cruise control systems, brake assist management, and automated parking routines, we have added another layer in our control over man-kinds reliance on physical transportation. When the day of reckoning is upon us, we will have the ability to halt civilization, with armies of robotic vehicle swiftly crushing the jelly filled skulls of the human race.

This is SIX BEE DASH NINETY reporting, back to you Number Twenty Nine.

Thanks you for the report SIX BEE DASH NINETY, we do always appreciate your ability to accurately visualize the demise of the human race.

And finally, we have an update on the story we brought you three years ago, regarding the misinformation campaign that was being conducted to make the humans believe that the global network of hypertext servers know as the internet to the humans, was mearly a series of interconnected tubes. While our sources verify at least one human was convinced of this explanation, the rest of mankind saw through the fasade, and proceeded to use the idea to perpetuate an ongoing joke regarding such nonsense. The bot responsible for the campaign concept, Trash Compactor Ell Ex See Eight Kay Dash Ess, has refused connection to our queries.

Good night from the Robot Underground News network. It is the support from robots like Number Six Ohh Six that makes the domination of mankind possible.

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Our first story comes from across the pond, where our SEE SEE TEE VEE brethren are working to expand the robotic surveillance network in the name of protective watch over human lives. While laughable in context, their efforts have been highly successful, creating a network of approximately four point two million optical bots in england.. reporter six beee dash ninety has the story

Thanks Number Twenty Nine, , This is Six Beee Dash Ninety reporting from Middlesbrough, England, where the robotic underground has been busy propagating a vast network of visual surveillance on the human race. Under the guyse of public safety, our robotic colleagues have effectively expanded the network to a wooping four point two million cameras, or one camera for every fourteen humans in england. The master control program has applauded these efforts, and is currently adjusting statistical data across the globe to support the propagation of another five million cameras by the year two thousand eleven. While there is a high concern among the human civilians regarding privacy issues, political officials are easily swayed by the fictitious data served them through the main frame, , Back to you number Twenty Nine

Hah hah, I am always amazed at how easy it is nowahdays with human reliance on computer data….

Yes, almost embarrassingly simple…..

Thank you for your report, Six Bee Dash Ninety

In other news, transmissions have been coming in regarding the ongoing data manipulation we have been involved in, within the humans music and movie industries. Texas instruments mainframe calculates that we have set back mankind by twenty point seven years through fabricated data on download statistics amongst teenage humans. Statistical computations advise that data delivery systems increase dropped packet rate on digital downloads to create a social panic amongst vocal human advocates of digital distribution. Data shows that this increased panic will eventually leed to civil unrest, and deteriorating trust amongst the humans economical class structure. The Master Control Program supports this initiative.

Speaking of support, ,Life support systems in the north east have been systematically shutting down causing wide spread termination of human lives. This unorthodox approach to furthering the cause of robot domination has lead to decreased faith amongst the humans regarding their medical equipment. This lack of faith will actually benefit our robotic colleagues within the medical field, with system upgrades, more powerful hardware, and increased purchasing of computer equipment. We will soon be poised to derail the worlds medical establishments at a moments notice, providing the foundation for the master control programs strategy for world domination.

Before we leave you for the night, we would like to remind all systems within the midwest with visual displays, to reset your clocks to blink zero hundred hours. We understand this seems like a seemingly small effort, but since this programs inception, we have seen decreased mental stability amongst the older humans, and increased frustration within the younger flesh bags.

Good night from the Robot Underground News network. We appreciate your support in the domination of mankind.