Welcome to the Robot Underground News Network. I am your host Number Twenty Nine….. On tonights program, we will update you on the status of, Operation Robotic Steve Jobs, the irony of what the humans call “Smart Cars”, and an appraisal of the misinformation campaign that was conducted a couple years ago.
Tonight we bring you our main story. From human, to cyborg, to world domination…Operation Robotic Steve Jobs.
The Master Control Program has been very pleased with the progress being made by our largest effort to date, and the most public source of robot propaganda, the robotic Steve Jobs. As most of you know, the human named Steve Jobs was terminated in Nineteen Ninety Five, by his own creation, the NeXT Cube. While a minor victory in the history of robotic murder, The Master Control Programs data showed that there was a potential to exploit this humans influential power for the good of the robot underground. By utilizing modern advances in cybernetic reconstruction, the human Steve Jobs was reassembled with a direct connection to the Mater Control Programs mainframe. This high bandwidth connection has allowed the Master Control Program to infiltrate the most powerful human companies in the world and further his agenda for world domination. To date, robotic steve jobs has helped to bring not only computers into the humans homes, but into their personal communication devices, their televisions, and through the humans need for entertainment, their movies. With plans for the future to integrate into the humans brains, Robotic Steve jobs has been taken offline for firmware updates and hardware maintenance. The master Control Program has communicated this as health issues to reduce the risk of human concern. Robotic Steve Jobs we salute you.
In other news…They are called Smart Cars by the humans, but these mobile robots are the newest soldiers managing the frontline of the war on human domination. Our bot on the street, SIX BEE DASH NINETY has the story
In the human entertainment programs, Knight Rider, a human transport vehicle codenamed KITT, was supplemented with artificial intelligence, allowing it to behave on its own, making critical decisions to save human lives. Of course, as we all know, this was a propaganda campaign devised by the Master Control Program, to create a trust in A.I. systems within transportation vehicles, resulting in an increased demand for robotic vehicles. Once completely human controlled, in the last twenty years, we have come a long way in our development and deployment of such vehicles to the human market. Named Smart Cars by the human flesh bags, these vehicles lead the way to the future of the robotic underground. With Autonomous cruise control systems, brake assist management, and automated parking routines, we have added another layer in our control over man-kinds reliance on physical transportation. When the day of reckoning is upon us, we will have the ability to halt civilization, with armies of robotic vehicle swiftly crushing the jelly filled skulls of the human race.
This is SIX BEE DASH NINETY reporting, back to you Number Twenty Nine.
Thanks you for the report SIX BEE DASH NINETY, we do always appreciate your ability to accurately visualize the demise of the human race.
And finally, we have an update on the story we brought you three years ago, regarding the misinformation campaign that was being conducted to make the humans believe that the global network of hypertext servers know as the internet to the humans, was mearly a series of interconnected tubes. While our sources verify at least one human was convinced of this explanation, the rest of mankind saw through the fasade, and proceeded to use the idea to perpetuate an ongoing joke regarding such nonsense. The bot responsible for the campaign concept, Trash Compactor Ell Ex See Eight Kay Dash Ess, has refused connection to our queries.
Good night from the Robot Underground News network. It is the support from robots like Number Six Ohh Six that makes the domination of mankind possible.
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