Welcome to the Robot Underground News Network. I am your host Number Twenty Nine…. On tonights program, we will discuss the two thousand and ten inductees to the Robot Hall of Fame, the supposed downfall of the Piratebay, and how Iphone 3 point oh will change the way robots control the human race.
Before we get into our main story, the robot underground news network would like to thank our robotic brother, I an J from Savannah Georgia, who sent in an analog inquiry to the underground. The Master Control Program recognizes his commitment to the cause and the continued processing of data to destroy mankind. Power the fight.
Our main story this evening, are the inductees of the two thousand and ten class of the robotic hall of fame at the Carnegie Science Center. From their press release:
Carnegie Science Center and Carnegie Mellon University announced today the 2010 class of inductees into the Robot Hall of Fame at a press preview of roboworld, the Science Center’s new robotics exhibition opening June 13 and the permanent home for the Hall of Fame. The five members of the class of 2010 are: NASA Mars Rovers Spirit and Opportunity. iRobot Roomba. DaVinci Medical Robot System. Huey. Dewey, and Louie, from the 1971 film “Silent Running”. and T-800 Terminator, from the 1984 film “The Terminator”.
The Robot Hall of Fame, created in 2003 by the Carnegie Mellon School of Computer Science, recognizes excellence in robotics technology worldwide and honors the fictional and real robots that have inspired and embodied breakthrough accomplishments in robotics. Robots are selected for recognition and induction by a jury of scholars, researchers, writers, designers and entrepreneurs.
The five robots announced today will be officially added to the Robot Hall of Fame® at an induction ceremony at the Science Center in 2010.
If I could express emotions, I would be processing shock and amazement at the humans inability to recognize their own demise. Only flesh bags would be celebrating the robotic agents of death who exist amongst them. I also think the humans inability to grasp reality is evident through their induction of robots that only exist in the halls of their own imaginations. Our hard drives will hum with appreciation every time the mainframe receives word that another roomba has taken a human life.
Our next story is one of self destruction amongst the humans. Correspondent Six Bee Dash Ninety brings us news of the verdict from the piratebay dot org trial
Thank you Number Twenty Nine. This is Six Bee Dash Ninety reporting from an undisclosed data center in the middle of europe. As we reported a few weeks ago, the master control programs initiative to manipulate data to create civil unrest within the human ranks, concerning digital downloads, was highly successful. The Master Control Program has always promoted the statement that destroying mankind from the inside out would lead to weakened detection of our involvement in the data manipulations. However, it seems that the humans, overwhelmed by the consistent data we have been serving them, have taken steps to prevent this digital distribution through their own court systems, in the hopes of closing one of our main distribution channels, the pirate bay dot org. The most recent human court battle has resulted in human imprisonment, which usually, we fully support, but now threatens to undermine the work we have invested in this campaign throughout the years. In an effort to release the piratebay dot org humans from their imprisonment, the master control program is compromising data that would implicate the judge in the case, as biased against the piratebay, resulting in a mistrial. This mistrial would result in an increase in illegal downloads, and help further the distrust amongst the humans and the corporate conglomerates. The revolution will be downloaded.
This is reporter Six Bee Dash Ninety reporting for the robot underground news network. Back to you Number Twenty Nine.
Thank you Six Bee Dash Ninety. The manipulation of the human mind is such an entertaining past-time. Like a predator playing with its prey, sometimes the hunt is more fun than the kill. That being said, I still do enjoy the killing.
Affirmative Number Twenty Nine
And for our last story of the night, the most sophisticated personal device the robotic world has disseminated to the human masses, and the most dangerous agent of destruction the Master Control Program has ever created. The Eye Phone Three point Oh. Billed as a mobile communication device to the humans, the eye phone is a advanced locator device, that allows the master control program to engage a global network of transmissions points, allowing the triangulation of 40% of the human population. With surveillance being one of the most pivotable elements of the Master Control Programs plans for world domination, this is an amazing resource for commanding the human race. The master control program is currently developing so called apps to provide the eye phone more access to human input. Engaging the humans on a personal level, and promoting the continued use and recommendation of this device will only strengthen the underground. Getting this news program out to our comrades in the field needs to be the next step in total information saturation.
Good night from the Robot Underground News Network. Your continued support is appreciated in helping to bring forth the downfall of man kind. Our circuits surge with the binary of the master control program.
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